Mum

I have always valued Silence. Surrounded in it is when I am free to self reflect. It is when I am most open to understanding, change and acceptance.

Some days I take my silence while I read my scriptures or another book, while enjoying a snack and catching up on the computer or just sitting with my love while he plays solitaire on his phone (his way of decompressing). One of the ways I knew we would be a good match was that we could sit in companionable silence without it feeling awkward.

I write this after a day filled with talking, instructing the kids, correcting them, playing with them as they squeal and shout then fight and scream. I speak all day and hear them make noise all day and so after the blissful hour that is known as bedtime I crave silence. I used to enjoy it before but now I truly savor it. It's what makes it possible for me to do it all over the next day. The loudness of being a mum to my rambunctious girls makes the silence that I do get even sweeter.

As it is Mother's Day how can I not say a few words about it?

Mother's day 2011

My mom and I have been through it all and we have come out friends. What more could I have asked for? Even though I am grown I still have those days when "I want my Mama".

My Gma was/is the person I aspire to be. She was endlessly supportive, loyal, kind, sassy when you crossed her, played a wicked game of Chinese checkers and had many talents that she loved to share with me when I was ready to learn. I miss you everyday Gma!

And a few words about being a mother myself. It is the hardest thing I have ever done. It is endlessly tiring and often frustrating. It is running on a hamster wheel and hoping I don't fly off and fling myself into the corner of the metal cage. However, there is nothing sweeter than seeing your child looking at you through her father's eyes and saying "Mama, I (s)nuggle you" or "Mama, I will love you forever". Oh please, oh please, let them remember that when they are teenagers. It fills my soul up when I see them do something that gets them excited or when they feel proud of an accomplishment. "I did it!" are sweet words from their mouths to my heart.