~laughing so hard that I go into the silent laugh or tears start to leak out of my eyes or until my side aches
~chocolate mousse any time of day
~seeing someone be compassionate towards another person, especially when it's one of my kids showing the kindness
~watching the sun set over an ocean
~listening to birds chirp in the woods on a cool day with a slight breeze in my hair
~unexpected gifts or acts of service (getting and giving)
but what I love most is loving and being loved by this man.
When I started dating I liked whoever the guy was, but I never fully gave my heart. At times I thought it was my fault, that I wasn't good enough to be loved the way poets write about. Other times I just knew the guy wasn't going to be long term and it broke my heart that I was never with someone for an "acceptable" amount of time. My friends were with their boyfriends for years at a time and I was never with someone longer than 6 months.
This was a gift. I know that now, but it hurt when I didn't know it.
When I met J, I wasn't looking to meet someone. I was new in town and I just wanted a group of friends to hang out with. But there he was, always around (He says that was very intentional on his part). From the first day I spent time with him, I felt like I had known him forever, as though I couldn't remember not knowing him. There was no pretension, we just were. When I realized I loved him, fairly quickly, it just felt like he would be in my life, for the rest of my life and I knew that I had been given the gift of never having fully given my heart away before so that I would know what it truly felt like with J. The difference was night and day. I never questioned it - I loved him so completely in a way that I literally had never done so before.
The best part is that he loves me, even when I don't deserve it, he loves me. He is a person who does not give up on the things that matter most to him and I know that his heart and mind have made that commitment to me. I am the luckiest girl alive to have his love.
We used to joke about who loved who more. I know, it sounds nauseating to hear that conversation, but we had it, several times until one of us (can't remember who) said "I love you as much as you love me" and the other said "Well then that's a lot". And it settled the argument. We now just say "I love you the same" and since I know how deeply I love him, if he loves me that much, well I can't ask for any more from him.
No comments:
Post a Comment